lent has been an amazing experience for me. to try to put everything into words would be impossible. i was telling b, i wish people could jump into my heart and feel and see what the Lord has done and continues to do. i just can't explain how awesome the feeling is and how much more real He feels to me every day.
i have been putting videos together for our youth department. the last four weeks they did a series called "24" and studied the last 24 hours of Jesus' life. so we used video clips from "the passion of the Christ." i know the movie like the back of my hand now b/c of the editing process but found myself completely mesmerized every time i had to work on the project.
i feel like the Lord has given me a new love for people and a new development of grace and mercy to show people, like He did. i will never have the amount Jesus had, but i can sure try. i feel like i've been doing a good job, until i worked on a particular part of the movie this week.
i was editing the scenes where Jesus takes the cross to Golgotha and when He's nailed onto it. the journey was so long for Him, i found myself becoming very irritated at the people throwing things at Him and pushing Him. He finally makes it to the cross and they begin nailing Him to it. His body is torn, it's swollen, blood has completely covered His body, one eye has swollen shut and yet He continues to endure pain....relentlessly they pull Him and slap Him around, dirt and rocks are grinding into his wounds and yet.....in the midst of this.....as i'm becoming disgusted with what i see and wanting the bad guys to "get theirs" in the end.....Jesus cries out to God and says "Forgive them."
okay, Lord, i still have so much to learn. b/c i honestly did not want those guys to make it. they don't deserve heaven or God's goodness....
but Jesus says they do. and i'm glad He said it. and that's what makes Him an extraordinary man. going through what He did, to give everyone a chance to live....no matter what.
meditate on good friday and remember what He went through for you.
and rejoice on Easter at the chance for new life and new love through the greatest man that ever lived.