Monday, January 11, 2010

a lesson for me by ella

this girl and me...we have a long way to go. she is a little spitfire with so much personality and so much gumption...yes she is only 3, but wow, is she 3. she makes me smile and is my precious little cuddle bug. even when she's doing something she shouldn't be doing, half the time she makes me laugh and the looks she can give, be it sweet or menacing...let's just say b and i are in trouble. BIG trouble. i love this girl.

on friday we set out to run some errands and before it began the fit throwing started. we had a relatively uneventful morning so i thought we'd get out of the house successful. not so. it started with her stocking cap and not being able to find the right one. after 15 minutes of looking, we were running late and had to go. thus began the screaming. the so intense screaming that she nearly made herself puke. yep, that's right, gagging, crying, screaming...she seriously became the devil at that moment. i honestly wanted to reach back and throw her...i didn't, but man the urge was there. just bein honest.

we got through the fit, everyone was settled and as our trek to our destination continued, she started talking to me. saying yes mom and no mom and being so sweet. i'm still fuming of course and there she is, in the backseat, carrying on as if nothing happened. i would answer her, and try to be "normal" but i was not happy. so i thought to myself "how in the world can she act like nothing is wrong. she almost puked on herself and she doesn't even remember? she nearly popped my ear drums with her piercing screams and she acts as though all is well with the world? can you believe the nerve of this little girl?"

and then, as i continue to listen to her talk, i almost start crying, seriously. and started thinking, how many times do i act like that with God. how many times do i throw a fit and question why and then pick up where i left off and act like that outburst didn't happen. my answer is, probably daily. and you know why i can do that? b/c God's grace and mercy flow so freely, all i have to do is recognize my short-coming, ask the Lord to help me with it and move on. do i practice this much grace and mercy with my kids? or do i wallow in their shortcomings and learning curves and make them continuously "earn" my grace.

while it's true, children have to be taught appropriate behavior, we're the ones responsible for teaching our children right from wrong. but do i keep making them pay for the wrong they did? or can i get past it in order to ALSO teach them grace and mercy.....

i know it struck me and it's hard, but teaching them forgiveness is just as important if not more so than teaching them when to scream and when not to.

just something to chew on i guess. thanks ella. always helping me grow!


Regular, with half and half and raw sugar said...

That pic goes with that post so perfectly. Thanks for the introspection.

Toni Parvin said...

Great thought and definitely true. I have to work on grace & mercy with my two turds daily!